Festival: Chapter 49
The universe is swallowed whole by Andi's smile
“Okay lovers, and dreamers and me, definitely me too, I am so excited at getting to bring this next magical, brilliant, and completely unique force of nature to the stage, give it up big for Andi Quiim!” Terra announced the mercurial comic with genuine excitement, and a bit of uncertainty as to whether she’d actually materialize or not.
Andi Quiim walked onto the stage to thunderous applause, starting with the comics in the back. All weekend Andi Quiim stories were swapped by comedians and festival attendees alike. Everywhere she showed up, never where she was meant to be, chaos followed. This was the first show of the festival that she was scheduled at where she actually showed up, due in no small part to Porter being assigned to keep her on track.
She had on a reflective silvery dress that moved with her lanky frame. She spread her arms wide and stood basking in the applause, the huge grin that she was famous for on her face, looking at the audience, every member of which felt like she was looking directly at them. This drove the applause higher and she slowly turned to face each section of the audience. For a full two minutes that seemed to go on forever she kept them clapping without saying a word. By the end they were applauding her ability to keep the applause going as much as anything else. She stepped up to the mic and they quieted down. “I love you! Let’s fuck!” She said, and the applause erupted again.
Bud walked onto the stage. He was sweating and wild eyed, high on multiple substances including a great deal of alcohol and running on very little sleep. He walked cautiously as if balancing on a beam. The audience quieted as Andi turned to the short cherub like man in the black suit. She looked at him welcomingly, as if she’d been expecting him. She clasped her hands together and smiled sweetly. Her short bleached white hair swirled upward on her head like flame atop a candlestick. Joe dropped to one knee and said loudly, “Andi Quiim, you are everything. Will you marry me?”
The crowd laughed and cheered. Andi smiled and said, “No. No, of course not you silly boy.”
Bud stood up, undeterred, and stripped clumsily but quickly out of his clothes. He stood naked on the stage, then dropping to one knee again he said, “Andi Quiim, you are everything. Will you accept me as your slave and apostle, your loyal worshiper and accomplice?”
“Yes, yes. Of course I will my silly silly boy.” and with simple movement she slid the thin straps of her dress off her shoulders and her dress dropped to the ground. Bud ran to her and they embraced. They started kissing as Porter and Hannah ran onto the stage to escort them both back behind the curtain.
Terra ran onto stage and did her best to quiet the crowd down. “Um. wow, okay. That was something, eh? Great stuff. Keep it going for Andi Quiim, and for Bud, too, I guess…” She didn’t know if Andi was coming back, or if she should introduce the next act until she saw Loyal giving her a thumbs up from the wings. “Give it up for Loyal Meade!”
Loyal took to the stage and bombed for five minutes straight. There was no following the Andi Quiim show. He called Sidney to join him on the stage and the two told road stories in tandem, a skill they’d often employed with rowdy crowds on tour. It worked well enough to steer out of a bomb, but no one was killing with this hyped up crowd. Loyal saw Madeline Maine out of the corner of his eye and asked if she’d tell a road story. She obliged, and then took the liberty of passing the mic to Kiry, and so Loyal’s set became a jam session. The audience was won over and by the time Kiry was wrapping up, they were back on track. Mars held up the light in the back of the room to let Loyal know his time was done. “Goodnight, drug addicts!” Loyal shouted, as Kiry handed him back the mic.
“Sometimes the light tells you’ve got to wrap it up, and sometimes it tells you you get to. I’ve done my job, and now I get to go.” he said to Sidney as they walked back behind the curtain. “Hey, where’d Bud and Andi Quiim go?” he asked Hannah.
“Out the door and into the night, naked as the day they were born.” she answered.
This years Riff Randell is sure coming to a hectic end. Is it the final hurrah, going out with a bang? Or will the Blues Brothers manage to save the club and the festival? Come back next week for the next chapter!
If you’re new here, you can start at the begging with chapter 1 here:
