Give Me Back My Name

A three named comedian muses about names

Keekle Bird

In the States we say “My name is…” In most of other places I’ve been I hear, “I am called…” This is of course much more accurate. What you’re called is everything. Your name, for most of us thats just some nonsense your parents stuck on you before you had any say in it.

The first nickname I remember having was my family nickname, Keekle Bird, or just Keekle. By the time I reached Junior High I hated it, and I hated it into adulthood which is odd to remember as it's fairly innocuous.

I never had a cool nickname in school. I had friends like Weird Dave (all Daves get an adjective before their name for some reason) and Dead Billy, and Fat John. But I was just Keith.

Ritalin/Jensie

When I was a flyer boy/emcee on tour with Spike and Mike's Festival of Animation, everyone got a nickname from Spike. This is a charming old school dude thing to do, and like most charming old school dude things, there's also some power play involved. Spike called me Ritalin, but eventually settled on Jensie. I like hearing Spike's voice say "Jensie!" enthusiastically when he sees me. He calls my brother James Baby Huey

Spike tried calling my wife Brenda instead of Bryna, and so she called him Big Al. I never saw anyone before or since respond by nicknaming him back, maybe because Spike is a nickname already, one he gave himself. Spike did not like being called Big Al. Spike now just refers to Bryna as The Woman. She was the Box Office Manger at a theater the fest played at meaning he had to talk to her frequently, and he stubbornly stuck with not saying her name.

Lowell

When I took a job at PetCo I was told I'd have to wear a name tag. I'd hated wearing a name tag when I worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken and at Blockbuster Video and I swore I would never wear one again. I hated having some condescending prick say, "Well... KEITH, I think you CAN substitute biscuits for coleslaw." I didn't give them my name and I didn't get theirs, and yet they had it to wield. I've always wondered if this is what David Byrne was describing in the Talking Heads' song Give Me Back My Name.

I decided to use my middle name, Lowell, on my name tag at PetCo, both for my dislike of strangers using my name against me and because there was already a Keith working there and I knew him to be a thief.

Keith Lowell Jensen, KLJ, Keeter, Buster

I started my comedy career around this time, and since half of the people I interacted with regularly knew me as Lowell I went onstage as Keith Lowell Jensen.

When we put together the crew for Trash Film Orgy, an annual midnight film festival, and its offshoot comedy troupe, I Can't Believe It's Not Comedy, they'd jokingly call me by all three names even in casual conversation. “Hey Keith Lowell Jensen. How ya doin’ Keith Lowell Jensen. Oh, Keith Lowell Jensen, do we have rehearsal this Thursday?” This evolved into them calling me KLJelly for a minute, and now KLJ has become my name with this group of folks.

When I was a kid my Uncle Hans in his thick Danish accent called me Keeter, or little Keeter. I wish I could hear his voice saying "How ya doin' dere little Keeter?" one more time. My grandpa John frequently called me a buster, which I thought was short for ballbuster, but my dad tells me it was a term of affection. I like remembering him with his mischievous smile as the ultimate buster.

Dad

My daughter calls me Dad, and it's far and above my favorite name ever bestowed upon me.